You Have To Laugh
by Cissaflake
Summary: Harry is going to kill Bellatrix because she murdered Sirius. But before he gets the chance, Remus shows Harry some old memories in Sirius' pensive.


**A/N: I wrote this a little while ago when we didn't have the internet, and forgot about it. But here it is... Sirius/Bella again! **

**Anyway please enjoy.**

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You Have To Laugh

'I'll kill her' Harry said, his voice was only just above a whisper,

'Harry,' Remus said. Harry jerked his head up. He had not noticed that Remus was there.

'She killed him. I'll kill her.'

'Before you go killing anyone, please come with me. Then, be my guest.' Remus didn't doubt that Harry was talking about Bellatrix Lestrange.

'Fine.' Harry mumbled reluctantly

Remus lead Harry up to a room in Number Twelve Grimmauled Place that Harry didn't even know existed. Remus took his wand out, and muttered a spell under his breath. The door immediately opened and Remus stepped inside followed by Harry.

The room was filled with, cabinets. Full of memories, and over in the corner was a pensive. Remus carefully removed vile after vile off of a shelf, gently pulling off the lids of each one and pouring the contents into the pensive. He finally put his wand at the side of his head, and drew a memory or two from it. He then did the same to Harry. Harry didn't know what memory was being drawn as he was not taking it. The pensive was now full of swirling memories. Remus nodded his head towards it, as a gesture that Harry should go into it.

...

Harry looked around, he was in a bedroom. Sirius' bedroom. A five year old Sirius was sitting on the bed swinging his legs. He soon got fed up of that and walked onto the landing

'Mother!' He shouted

'Sirius don't shout, what is it?' Walburga replied

'When are Bella, Andy, and Cissy getting here?'

'They should be here soon, don't mess your clothes up, or your hair. Be good.'

Sirius frowned, it was evident to Harry that Sirius didn't like 'being good' one bit. He could guess that most of the thins he liked to do, didn't involve being good, and messed his clothes and hair up. He walked back to his room, and started to get some of his toys out. He lined up about five different toys on the floor.

'Yes.' He said proudly 'I can show Bella these.' He then went to Regulus' room where a two year old Regulus was sitting on the floor, looking at a picture book.

Sirius rolled his eyes 'That's boring Reg. Why don't we do something fun?'

Regulus blinked at his brother, 'Um,' he said 'We can wead buks.'

'Reggie, what your doing isn't reading. It's looking at books.'

'Fun.'

'Uggghhh. Fine. Be boring, at least Bella will be here soon. She likes doing fun stuff with me.'

'Ciss, And.'

Sirius pursed his lips 'Yes, Bella, Andy, and Cissy, are coming over here soon.' It was clear that Sirius was getting impatient with his brother. He walked out and back to his room.

The doorbell rang and Sirius' eyes lit up. He rushed out of the room and down stairs.

...

The air swirled around and Harry found himself looking at a seven year old Bellatrix sitting up in a tree, looking exasperatedly at Sirius, who was desperately trying to climb up.

'I can't do it Bellzies.'

'Fine,' She said climbing down and helping him up.

...

Everything blurred and Harry was with Sirius and Bellatrix in a field, it was pitch black and they were obviously supposed to be inside the house. Not out here.

Sirius shivered and Bellatrix gave him a hug, hoping that it would warm him up.

'Where are we Bella?'

'I, I don't know Siri.' In reality, they weren't that far from the house, but for two children it was a long way. Sirius was shivering non stop now. Suddenly, the grass in front of him, turned into a blanket.

'Sirius! You did your first magic!'

'I did?'

'Yes!' She said gathering up the blanket up, and wrapping them both up in it.

...

Harry soon lost track of time, watching more sweet moments from their past and soon found himself in the Great Hall, watching Sirius getting sorted.

'Gryffindor!' The hat shouted, and he grinned and went to sit down with his new friends at the Gryffindor table. He missed Bellatrix' crestfallen face as he went. He glanced at her and his smile faded. She held his gaze only for a second, before resuming the conversation she was having with her friends.

...

They were in a corridor now, a few memories later, and in their time – a few years.

Bellatrix and Sirius were duelling spitting angry insults at each other. The worst Sirius got was a nose bleed, and Bella got a gash on her arm. But that was when it began, when it really began.

...

Harry looked around, the memory had changed again.

He was in the Marauder's dormitory. Suddenly, Bella crept in and went over to Sirius' bed.

'Bella?' he asked sleepily

'Mmmmm.'

'Nightmare?' Bella nodded. Sirius knew that when Bella had a nightmare, she couldn't sleep unless she was with someone. She had really bad nightmares.

Sirius moved over and patted the bed next to him for her to get in. She climbed into bed and pulled the curtain closed behind her,

'It's hard.' Bella said putting her head on his shoulder

'What is?'

'Hating you.'

'I know, it's hard hating you too.'

'I don't, I – I don't hate you.' She said, Harry felt sure she was going to say something else though.

She laid her head on Sirius' shoulder, and closed her eyes. About an hour later she sat up.

'I should be going now.' she whispered

'Stay.'

She thought for a moment and laid back down, snuggling into her cousin as they drifted off to sleep.

...

Bellatrix was sitting by the Black Lake under a tree at sundown. Sirius crept up behind her and whispered 'Sorry.' Into her ear, he sat down by her side and they talked for hours, about nothing in particular, it was strangely familiar to Harry. He realised that this was how it used to be, when he had watched the memories of them when they were younger seemed like an eternity ago to Harry.

...

The next memory was them duelling again, but their was fire in Bellatrix' eyes, a smile upon her lips as she and her cousin duelled again earning them selves detention.

When Harry thought about it, they had a love/hate relationship. They obviously loved each other – whether it was as cousins or not, they did. But hated each other at the same time.

...

'Where are we going Siri?' A sixteen year old Bellatrix asked her cousin as he lead her outside

'It's a surprise.' He lead her down to the lake where there was a picnic laid out on the grass. Harry watched them eat, chat, and laugh for a while. They lay down on the grass and looked up at the sky, at all the small bright twinkling stars.

'Look, there's your star,' Bella whispered. They turned their heads so that their faces were only inches away from each other, and for a moment Harry felt sure they were going to kiss. But they didn't.

Despite the fact that they were cousins, Harry felt that they would have made the perfect couple. She made him happy, there was a certain expression on his face that he saved for her and her alone, even when he was with his friends. Sirius was happiest with her.

...

The memory swirled around, and Harry was in the hospital wing with Sirius. Moments later, Bellatrix dashed in and put her arms around him, she seemed very distraught.

'I'm so sorry Si, there wasn't anything I could do. I never meant for him to Crucio you.'

'It's okay, I'm fine. You shouldn't have come.'

'Your my cousin, I had to come.'

'No. We're not cousins anymore. We are not in any way related, not now.'

'We're not?' she asked a small smile forming on her lips. Sirius shook his head. She leant down and brushed her lips against his, before dashing out of the room.

...

Soon Harry found himself reliving the moment when they were in the Department of Mysteries. He watched his god father and Bellatrix duel, something in their eyes that he couldn't quite place. He watched Sirius' body be enveloped by the mist that was coming out of the veil. He heard Bellatrix' triumphant scream, and turned to look at her.

He watched his own memory as he chased her through the Department of Mysteries. He remembered the feeling of wanting to cause her as much pain as possible.

She laughed.

He saw what he had missed in her eyes before.

Pain.

Sometimes, you have to laugh, to stop yourself from crying.

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**A/N: soo... did you like it? **

**Please review, tell me if it is good? bad? please? will you?**

**-Lissa XD**


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